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1. The text in sections 10.1.1, 10.1.2, 10.1.3, and 10.1.4 should change to use the same wording in section 10.2.1
2. References to Clause 6 in sections 10.1.1, 10.1.2, 10.1.3, 10.1.4, 10.2.1, 10.2.2, 10.2.3, and 10.2.4 should be changed to reference Clause 7.
3. In sections 10.1.1.1, 10.1.2.1, 10.1.3.1, and 10.1.4.1, the sentence "The HCD shall identify and authenticate each User who tries to access HCD Assets or execute HCD Applications, as they are defined in Clause 6 Hardcopy device assets." seems to suggest that HCD Applications are defined in Clause 6. Is this correct? -- I couldn’t find them.
4. Many (most?) of the references to technique examples are incorrect. ("For example, one technique may be found in…" and "For example see…")
5. In section 10.1.1.2, the parenthetical phrase in the following sentence seems awkward: "The HCD shall ensure that Authorized Users are permitted only to access those HCD assets or execute those HCD applications (only in walk up User Interface of the HCD if necessary) that are appropriate to the role for which they are authorized."
6. In the second paragraph of sections 10.1.1.2, 10.1.2.2, 10.1.3.2, and 10.1.4.2, a comma should be placed after the word "applications".
7. The example text given in section 10.1.1.2 does not match the text in section 8.2.4.3 (assuming that was the intended reference.)
8. Section 10.1.1.5 -- is this the intended example text, or do you want the one used in 10.1.2.5?
9. Sections 10.1.1.6, 10.1.2.6 and 10.1.3.6 -- insert "the" before the word "capability".
10. Sections 10.1.1.8, 10.1.2.8, 10.2.1.1, 10.2.1.3, 10.2.2.1, 10.2.2.3, 10.2.3.1, 10.2.2.3, 10.2.4.1, and 10.2.4.3 -- is this example text correct/applicable?
11. In sections 10.1.2.2, 10.1.3.2, and 10.1.4.2, the parenthetical phrase in the following sentence seems awkward: "The HCD shall ensure that Authorized Users are permitted only to access those HCD assets or execute those HCD applications (only in front of the HCD if necessary) that are appropriate to the role for which they are authorized."
12. Section 10.1.4.2 -- shouldn’t the example reference text be from 8.2.4.3 instead (as in section 10.1.1.2?)
13. Why is the example reference text in 10.1.4.3 different from 10.1.2.5?
14. Sections 10.2.1.1 -- how does the example reference text apply?
Lee
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Lee Farrell
Canon Development Americas
15975 Alton Parkway
Irvine, CA 92618-3731
(949) 932-3163 - voice
(949) 932-3520 - fax
lee.farrell@cda.canon.com
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